If you’ve ever felt called toward something meaningful, whether that’s starting a business, writing a book, learning a new skill, or exploring your spiritual gifts, you’ve probably met an unwelcome companion along the way: doubt. It has a way of showing up just when things start getting interesting.
Maybe you’ve had a moment where everything seemed to click. You felt inspired, energized, and excited about where life was leading you. Then, almost as quickly, another voice appeared.
“Who do you think you are?”
“What if you’re wrong or making it up?”
“What if you fail?”
“What if everyone realizes you have no idea what you’re doing?”
I don’t believe those questions are evidence that you’re on the wrong path. They may actually be the growing pains that come with finally choosing the right one. I’ve experienced this more times than I can count. Every time I’ve decided to pursue something that genuinely mattered to me, whether it was writing my first book, learning QHHT, or developing my mediumship there has always been a period where excitement and self-doubt seemed to exist side by side.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that our minds crave certainty. We like knowing what’s going to happen before we take the first step. We want guarantees that we’ll succeed, that people will understand us, and that we won’t embarrass ourselves along the way. Unfortunately, life doesn’t seem to work like that.
If we only pursued the things that came with guaranteed success, most of us would never leave our comfort zones. We would continue doing what feels familiar because familiarity feels safe. The problem is that our greatest periods of growth rarely happen inside our comfort zones.
One experience in particular taught me this lesson in a way I wasn’t expecting.
Recently, I had a mediumship session that didn’t unfold the way I had hoped. For most of my mediumship readings, I allow Spirit to lead the session. Rather than deciding who will come through, I let those in the spirit world choose if, when, and how they wish to communicate. More recently, though, I’ve been experimenting with something different. If a client has someone in particular they hope to hear from, I’ve been intentionally trying to attune to that person’s energy for the reading.
That’s what I attempted to do during this reading. The client hoped to connect with her sister (something I did not know before the session). As I settled in, I did sense the presence of a female spirit, but the evidence I received simply didn’t match her sister. No matter how I tried to shift my focus, I couldn’t establish the connection we were both hoping for.
It was uncomfortable and disappointing. Afterward, I replayed the session over in my mind, wondering if there was something I had missed or something I could have done differently.
As I reflected on the experience, I remembered something important. Before the session began, I had sensed the presence of a male spirit. At the time, I assumed we would be communicating with one of the client’s male loved ones. Then, at the start of the session, she shared that she was hoping to hear from her sister. Wanting to give her the connection she had come for, I shifted my focus and intentionally tried to attune to her sister instead.
Looking back, I feel that was my mistake. Rather than trusting the spirit who had naturally stepped forward, I tried to guide the session toward the outcome I thought it should have (the one the client requested).
Was it a mistake? I believe it was.
Was it a failure? Absolutely not.
Instead of seeing that experience as evidence that I shouldn’t continue, I chose to see it as part of becoming a better medium. It reminded me that growth isn’t about having perfect sessions every time. I can hear my tutor Debra saying “Mediumship isn’t about perfection!” Mediumship is about learning to trust, adapting when things don’t go as planned, and continuing to develop with humility.
Looking back, I’m actually grateful for the session. Not because it went the way I wanted it to, but because it reminded me that this path isn’t about proving myself. It’s about remaining teachable. Every experience, even the uncomfortable ones, has something to offer if I’m willing to listen.
I don’t think that lesson only applies to mediumship.
It applies to almost everything worth pursuing.
We often imagine that confident people simply woke up one day believing in themselves. I don’t think that’s true. More often, confidence is something that’s earned. It grows quietly through experience. It develops each time we choose to keep going after something didn’t work, after we made a mistake, or after we questioned ourselves.
Looking back at any area of your life where you now feel comfortable, chances are there was a time when you felt completely inexperienced. The only difference between then and now is that you kept showing up.
Another trap I’ve learned to avoid is comparison. It’s easy to look at someone who has been doing something for ten or twenty years and assume they always knew what they were doing. We compare our first few steps to someone else’s thousandth step, and somehow convince ourselves we’re behind. The truth is, you simply weren’t there to witness their moments of uncertainty. You didn’t see the mistakes they made, the days they wanted to quit, or the times they questioned whether they were good enough.
Everyone has those moments.
The people who eventually succeed aren’t necessarily the most talented or the least afraid. They’re often just the ones who decided that doubt wasn’t going to make their decisions for them.
When I find myself questioning my path, I’ve found it helpful to return to a simple question: Why did I begin this journey in the first place? Usually, the answer has very little to do with success or recognition. It’s because I genuinely love this work. I love helping people. I love learning. I love exploring consciousness and discovering what we’re capable of. Those reasons don’t disappear just because doubt decides to pay me a visit.
I’ve also stopped believing that the goal is to eliminate doubt altogether. I’m not sure that’s possible. Doubt seems to be part of the human experience. It’s simply our minds trying to protect us from uncertainty. The key is remembering that while doubt is welcome to come along for the ride, it doesn’t get to hold the steering wheel.
If your heart keeps nudging you toward something meaningful, don’t wait until every fear has disappeared before taking the next step. You don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin. In fact, most of us never do. More often than not, clarity comes through movement, not before it. One small step leads to another. Confidence slowly replaces uncertainty. What once felt impossible eventually becomes second nature.
So if your heart is saying yes, but your mind keeps trying to talk you out of it, remember that you’re not alone. Doubt doesn’t necessarily mean you’re heading in the wrong direction. Sometimes it simply means you’re growing into the person you are meant to be.💜
